Often times on Sunday evenings I will sit here in this same spot on my couch in my empty living room and reflect on the weeks past and the things that I was totally stoked on, and the things I was absolutely distraught over. Recently it has been more distraught than stoked unfortunately.
Fucking money, women, bills, and work have really been tearing down my usual calm demeanor. Apparently this year end was harder for me financially than it has EVER been. I just recently kicked out two roommates out of my house, traveled to south Carolina to track my race car (probably shouldn't have looking back on it, but it was fun so whatever), flew to California to take a class (an expensive class...) on a race engine computer program that seems limitless in its potential but almost requires you buy one to fully understand the ins and outs of its software ($6500-7000), car insurance for the civic and the race car, Christmas spending, utilities have gone up, and trying to still stay on top of equipment that I need at the shop. Man, should 24 year old kids be trying to do all of this? times like these it seems clear why people strive so hard to live simply.
BUT, then again, the grass is most definitely always greener. And, I really should be happy that I have all of the opportunities to do all of these things (even if I can just BARELY afford it) Particularly with me it seems sometimes.
In terms of women? Fuck man, I could quite possibly have some of the strangest luck ever, great people but the absolute most odd circumstances. What can I say really. The more I think about any problems that I may have, there are always people out there that will make your "problems" look like perfect situations. Just enjoy the people you are invested in and you'll be doing just fine.
"...most of the great art of the world is about that very problem."
balance at the gambrill state park watershed, i wish.
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